Early October

On the that cold dark full moon night,

The night that you went away.

October 5th late at night the date I sadly say.

I closed my eyes and hoped to god that

this was just a really bad dream,

And I would wake up the very next day.

But than to realize that is was real and I could not take it away.

I felt so helpless and cold inside

when I had walked into your room while you lay in your bed

So graceful so peacefully

Your troubles are gone, you're suffering had stopped.

I thought about what you must have went though

within the seconds before you were gone.

I wonder if you felt alone and hoping that was not the case.

I wonder what you thought of , your last few moments on this earth

I wonder if you thought of me, I wonder if you felt free.

It’s like I lost my best friend you were like another mother to me.

I wonder if you were sad to go, I wonder if you knew that it was your time.

I wonder if your are watching me now, helping me get threw.

I hope that you knew that you are loved,

I hope you know how much you meant to me,

I wonder what you said to God before he took you away

I felt like I was in a dazed, like I had no heart, no breathe to breath

I can take a few tears now and then and can let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone always upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
What hurts the most
Was being so close

Having so much to say
And knowing you had passed away

And never knowing

What could have been

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
It’s hard to force that smile when I see things that remind me of you,

Still Harder Getting up, getting dressed, living’ with you gone
But I know if I could do it all over Again

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
that I left unspoken

The feeling took right over me and I couldn’t help but shed my tears.

I wish I was there to hold your hand, the night you passed away.

Written With Love: For , DeeDee (Grandma)